Throughout my training as a counselor, social worker and now health coach, consistent themes emerge around sensitivity to women’s issues and struggles, conscious and unconscious, and providing a safe space to explore those experiences.
Did you know that at age 7, girls and boys want to be president in equal numbers? That changes drastically by middle school, and even more so by college.
Women experience oppression most acutely in the messages that their physical appearance is tied to their worth. We are aware of this, as it is alive and well in the media today.
However, in our shift to a more egalitarian society (women in the workforce, shared household responsibilities, more leadership opportunities) a new pressure for women has emerged. It struck me in a lecture I was listening to last week…
We are supposed to be superwoman, supermom, and superhuman. And this, too, is oppressive.
Not only should a woman be able to raise well-adjusted, successful children, keep a spotless home, and cook for their families, they should also have a successful career, make homemade organic granola bars for their children, volunteer in the community and be fit and beautiful at all times.
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel this pressure. And my type A, perfectionist personality thrives on it. I never stopped to think about it as a form of oppression.
But it makes sense! We can quickly feel like we don’t measure up. And for those of us who like to be busy and think we can do it all, we risk sacrificing downtime, burning out, and falling apart when something doesn’t go our way.
And then I wondered if bloggers are fueling this stereotype.
I am a first born, over achiever, and (sometimes) a do-it-all myself supermom-wannabe. It’s in my DNA and unlikely to change!
But I’m human. Not all the meals on my meal plan make it to the table. I miss workouts and oversleep. Some days my daughter gets by on carbs and zero vegetables.
Does it really matter if you don’t cook meals from scratch for your family? Skip a few chores? Aren’t climbing the career ladder?
Shouldn’t we focus on the stuff that matters? Reading stories to your kids. Hugs. Relationships. Encouraging words. Listening to a friend.
I share running tips, recipes, things my daughter and I like to eat, race reports and so on to (hopefully) provide some inspiration and to share our journey. But I know most of us do not have the time to bake and cook every day, or the desire to train for marathons, or have kids who will down a green smoothie.
And I can easily get caught up in the skills I do not have that others have: photography, fashion sense, an artistic eye and so on.
I’m just putting this out there as a reminder that we are all different. Comparisons lead to discontent. Let’s be thankful for who we are and what we have. Let’s read blogs for inspiration, but stop reading if we come away feeling “less than” in any way. And let’s be aware that this “superwoman syndrome” exists!
One of the best ways to combat this syndrome is to build gratitude and contentment. A great exercise is to keep a journal by your bed and every night write down three things from the day that you are thankful for. I’m going to try this for the next month.
Over-achievers like me need to learn to step back and relax. To spend more time in silence, meditation or prayer. To focus on the people around us, not the to-do list.
And we all need to free ourselves from the pressure to be all things to all people.
For related reading, check out my friend Lindsay’s post, When is it Okay to Slow Down?
Have you felt the superwoman or supermom pressure? What is something you have done or can do to release yourself from it?
This is me, yes! I am looked down upon in so many ways because I do not have children I birthed from my body, but I teach band to grades 5 – 12, and care for those students at school, after school and often at special honors events on weekends. I have trouble saying no, am an overachiever, and have reached a point in life where I wonder what can I do to feel “good enough.” Thank you for sharing today. I don’t have suggestions, but can relate.
Thanks for sharing, Kim. I hope you’re able to draw some boundaries and know that you are already more than “good enough”- and thank you for pouring yourself into middle schooler! That takes a special person, for sure.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Thanks for this, I needed to hear it this morning. I’ve just started a new job that has me home a lot less, and the pressure to get workouts in and make healthy fresh meals and look awesome and do my job well has me so overwhelmed I’m doing none of that. Last week (my first week on the job) I essentially stopped sleeping, didn’t get one workout in, and ate donuts for breakfast every single day. This week (I’m off today!) I’m working on more balance. Healthy food when I can, workouts when I can, everything in moderation, baby steps…
Heather@YSP recently posted..By the wayside..
Oh man, that sounds like a tough transition! It’s so easy to get completely overwhelmed and not do anything at all. You’re exactly right about the baby steps… you’ll find your rhythm. And let go of the pressure that you have to fit in everything that you were before. Do what you can each day, and that is enough. Congrats on the new job!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Oh my gosh, LOVE this! Felt like you were talking to me!!!
I totally freak if my kids don’t get their veggies, or I miss my workout. Ill focus on it until I feel awful…
You are SO right! Focus on the things that matter and how blessed we are…all of us
Marissa recently posted..PIZZZZA and a few other eats…
I’m glad you connected with it, Marissa! We put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves… it’s so important to learn to relax and let go of the little stuff. I’m working on this, too…
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Great post with really great points. I definitely think that social media in general fuels this. Facebook posts are always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes our blog pots are, too–and yes, it adds to the pressure without a doubt.
Going back to my post about being in our 40s, I can tell you that it does get a bit easier not to feel the pressure as you age. You just don’t care as much, and that’s a good thing! So at least there’s that to look forward to, right?
misszippy recently posted..Hardest week (ever?): done!
Thanks, Amanda. Yes- I see a big difference already from my 20s, and I care less and less all the time. I do love that aspect of getting older!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I ask myself, Is this going to matter in 5 years? In most cases it won’t so I let it go. A few clothes on the floor and a less than spotless kitchen will not be things I regret at the end of my life.
Great point! I need to post that question on my fridge.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Im a misfit.
for the the pursuit of the superwoman is not a negative thing—but a LOOK AT ME FLY!!!! concept.
That said, my definition is also a misfit one.
messy house and all
Miz recently posted..Living not blogging: Presidents Day edition.
I definitely agree that it can push us in a good way to find our potential. But I’m glad to hear you have a messy house.
It’s impossible to do it all, all the time.
I feel the supermom pressure all the time. As a stay-at-home Mom, I’m able to workout when I want but I get negativity from others because of it. I’m constantly being judged because I used to have an ED. Every time I workout, I get “oh she must be in a bad headspace/not eating/binging/ etc. It’s very frustrating.
Natalie recently posted..A much better run.
Oh, that is tough. Why do we have to judge one another? It’s sad that it’s so much harder to be supportive and assume the best, than it is to assume the worst.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Oh, this definitely resonates with me. I’ve tried the gratitude journal but it became one more thing I failed to keep up with! One reason I like blogs more than magazines these days is that they are more “real” but I do need to keep in mind that even bloggers are editing what they write about, although from the sweaty workout pictures I’ve seen photoshop isn’t quite as rampant.
Coco recently posted..Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
Haha, you’re right! Didn’t mean to give everyone something else for the to-do list.
And yes, blogs generally are much more real, which I appreciate as well.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
“We are supposed to be superwoman, supermom, and superhuman.” You nailed it on the head with this statement. It feels as if we have to play all the positions on a baseball team sometimes.
Andrea @ From Florida to North Dakota recently posted..Reading Month Giveaway!!
Yes! So many different hats! It can be exhausting.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
So much goodness for a Monday morning. Really appreciated reading this today – more than you’ll ever know!! xoxo
Alicia at Poise in Parma recently posted..Vlog-A-Week: my plans for the 2013 Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon
Thanks, Alicia! xoxo
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I actually happened to get off a heated conversation with my hubby this moring and I was stating how I wasn’t feeling appreciated for all I was doing ‘Getting up at 4am to run, work, dinner, getting kids stuff around…etc…’
His response – ‘I never said you had to do it all. Nor do you have to get up at 4am to get your run in’
Huh. While I may stick to 4am runs – I do think I am giving him dinner duty tonight!
*So my hand is firmly raised in agreement of this feeling*
Deana recently posted..My Day Thus Far…..
I hear you… it’s crazy how much pressure we can put on ourselves.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Great post. Cleaning the house is the first thing I let go
Kylie recently posted..Geometric Solids
Me too! My mom’s house is spotless all the time… I just can’t keep that up, and I’m okay with it.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I feel ya sister! I don’t have kids yet but I know I try to do it all and study…workout…cook…work…and it hits me hard in the end. Woo sa
Kat recently posted..Motivational Monday – Featured Sneakers #19
Yes, it’s definitely not just moms that feel the pressure. We can all benefit from slowing things down a little!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Someone shared this post on Twitter and I am so glad to have found your blog. This is a very thought-provoking post and something I struggle with often. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Maryea @ Happy Healthy Mama recently posted..The world’s healthiest brownie {vegan, gluten-free, nut-free, soy-free}
Thank you so much, Maryea- glad to connect with you! Coming over to check out that healthy brownie…
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Awesome post! I don’t have children, but I definitely feel so much pressure to be Superwoman nonetheless. Part of it is my own doing of course. I’m that first born, type-a, over-achiever as well.
Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Accidental 14 Mile Run
Yes, I think every woman feels it, especially us first born girls! And then it gets worse with kids because the chores multiply like crazy.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
[...] please check out Laura’s excellent post about being a superwoman. She echoes many of my own thoughts on how we women sometimes have too much on our [...]
Excellent post! I think many of us feel the same strain.
In my case, I realized that on the nights I work late I was leaving detailed meal plans (sometimes with prep work already done!) for my husband… despite the fact that he was quite an accomplished cook before we met. I had to stop.
Beth (@RunTraveler) recently posted..Weekly roundup: world records and more
That’s such a great example! Sometimes there are some really easy ways to cut the workload. My husband used to cook more before we had kids, and when I stopped working I started doing most of it, but he is still happy to help. There is no reason I should do it all.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
This is so sad and so true….I constantly compare myself to others and never feel like I do enough to keep up with what every one else seems to be doing. Whether its feeding my family the best organic food, keeping the house clean, volunteering! (ugh…church, school, work stuff, etc..)working my part time hours, and yes, trying to exercise and “LOOK GOOD” because every other woman out there LOOKS GREAT!!
Exhausting I tell ya!
I am not a superwoman…and I am learning to accept what I am and what I do DO.
The list can go on and on, huh?! I’m glad you’re learning to accept where you’re at- isn’t that the point, anyway? We do it all to be satisfied with ourselves and content. If we choose contentment to start with, we can get done what we get done, and leave it at that. No need for the guilt or self-criticizing.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I feel this way quite often and I don’t even identify myself as type A! I get sucked into the comparison trap a lot. It’s something I’ve been working on. The hubs and I have started listed 3 things we’re thankful for each night before bed. While I can’t say I’m “cured”, I can say that I’ve grown to appreciate what I do have a lot more. Great post, Laura!
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted..Marathon Monday Week 1
I wish there was an easy cure. But I think acknowledging it is a great first step, so we can catch ourselves comparing and choose instead to be grateful and content.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
What an awesome post Laura! I feel this pressure all the time! Especially at home…when I don’t get all the laundry done, dinner cooked, and the house picked up. I love your journal idea!!! Thanks for sharing!
Mindy @Road Runner Girl recently posted..The Weekly Chase #8!
It’s nice to know we’re not alone, huh? If we’re all feeling it, we should call one giant truce! Laundry piles and messy houses are okay.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I hear ya! It’s definitely okay to slow down and breathe!:)
Kierston recently posted..Simply GrateFUl.
Exactly! Just breathe.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I think nothing good comes of judging and comparison. I’ve been on both sides of this: the childless career woman who is plagued by questions/speculation as to why she does not have kids. The SAHM who is asked “so your just home with the kids? That’s ALL you do?” truth is theres no perfection or it’s all perfection, it just depends on your perspective.
I hesitate to point fingers at social media and place blame for ones feelings of inadequacy. Nobody has the power to MAKE me feel a certain way. I am in full control of that. : )
Marcia recently posted..Do You Keep Score?
Yes, I agree with you about social media. But it was helpful for me to stop and think about how I come across- I don’t want to be fueling the supermom expectations on women.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Yes, I think we all feel this way at some time or another and especially if your a fitness blogger. Personally, I must take breaks, I don’t follow all of the “rules”, and when I get really overwhelmed I remember why I started my blog in first place, I remind myself that my family comes first, then running, then blog. People are never all that they appear in their blogs, facebook or twitter, if someone is naive enough to believe this, then there lies the problem. We all have multiple layers, and I have found that often times the people who appear the happiest are quite lonely and need the most compassion. I am completely inspired by many bloggers and feel zero need to compete, this is always something difficult for me to understand… when someone is overcome with jealousy. I have a multitude of other issues, but jealousy is not one of them. Nice post Laura, it’s a great subject to discuss and get out there!
Lisa @ RunWiki recently posted..#KleanAthlete Review: Protein Peanut Butter Cups and Protein Sunbutter Cookies
I admire the way you approach your blogging, Lisa. And I agree with you- we are all so much more complicated than our online platforms can convey!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Great post and things we need to remember. I am terrible at focusing on what I didn’t do or what I need to be better at and not the things I accomplished.
Jen recently posted..Marathon Training Week 4 or 5 ??
Oh yes, me too!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Great post Laura! I need to be reminded of this more often. I feel a lot of pressure at home because I do pretty much everything in the house (take out the garbage, grocery shop, laundry, cook, clean) and still work around 50 hours a week AND train. I get so freaking tired. Especially when my hubby comes home and takes a nap or plays his xbox. When do I get a freaking nap? Don’t get me wrong, he does do things, I just feel like I am expected to do more. Then I read these blogs of people that post everyday, sometimes twice a day and they just spent 4 hours working out. Sometimes I get a little jealous, but I know that I can’t compare my life to their life. Just need to remind myself of that.
Tasha @ Healthy Diva recently posted..Week 7: My Garmin is a $%*#$
Yes, comparing is never helpful. And wow, friend- you’ve got a lot going on!! I can’t imagine working 50 hours along with everything else, not to mention your impressive training. You’re superhuman in my book.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Aw, thanks Laura! I don’t know how I have enough hours in the day sometimes. I usually go to bed early (before 10 pm) and I am up between 4:30-5:00 am.
Tasha @ Healthy Diva recently posted..Brooks Gear: Review #1
What a lovely post, Laura. Although I’m not a mom, I still think that we all feel that superwoman pressure. It’s hard enough to be good at one thing, let alone 100, and yet I think the stereotype of the “modern woman” is that person who runs marathons, is tops at her job, and raises perfect children. Obviously doing all of those things means some will suffer at different times. Taking pressure off ourselves to be perfect and to do everything doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us realistic.
Jen @ Jens Best Life recently posted..Weekly Goals and Workout Recap: Low-Key Weekends and Food Prep
Yes, well said, Jen! We can definitely benefit from having a more realistic perspective, rather than holding ourselves up to such a high bar.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Supermom pressure???? Every. Single. Day.
I actually reached my breaking point on Friday and had a good ole’ Mommy Meltdown. I brushed myself off and started all over again!! It’s ok to admit that sometimes we can’t do it all, but I too have a difficult time with that!
Kristin recently posted..Week in Review
I’m sorry you had a mommy meltdown! I am at my lowest mommy point on Fridays as well… it’s tough! You’re so right, it’s hard to admit that we can’t do it all. But necessary!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Great post! And actually….I wanted to be president until I was 13, then I wanted to be a cardiologist! Then I decided, well, I Don’t want to be in school until I am 40! But, ya know, I think all my sister ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom….and I have never faulted her for that. Everyone is different, so let people be who they want to be!
Crystal@TheFastFitRunner recently posted..Can the underprivileged eat healthy?
Love that you wanted to be president! And yes, we all have different ambitions… we need the moms who really want to be home!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Love that quote! I actually posted that on my Facebook a while back.
I really don’t feel the pressure, however, I know that: a) it is unrealistic to do it all and b) anyone who acts like they are doing it all is putting on a pretty good facade. Perfect balance is an illusion. Truly. I know no woman who has a full-time job (either as a working professional or a SAHM), keeps the house spotless, cooks spectacular culinary delights nightly, mothers perfectly, and trains for marathons. Superwoman doesn’t exist, and to be completely honest, I don’t read blogs that try and prove she does. I like *REAL*.
Allison @ Johnson Jocks recently posted..Post Marathon Total Body Destruction
Well said, Allison! I like real, too. Sometimes blogging tempts us to pull out the “best of” in our posts, and I really want to ensure I’m real in mine. Hoping since you read mine that means I passed the test.
big round of applause!! I have touched on this in the past too as I know it’s certainly something that appears in my own life at times…luckily over time you can start to recognize it quicker and switch to more productive thinking
Amanda @RunToTheFinish recently posted..Understanding Body Composition
Thanks, Amanda! I think you’re right! When we’re aware of it, we can stop ourselves and redirect those thoughts.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
thank you! I have been feeling like there are just not enough hours in the day to do and be everything I am supposed to. Perfect reminder to step back and pay attention to the things that really matter
. Love this post.
Jerilee recently posted..A new week…
Oh, I know… never enough hours, huh? And I only have one child.
Glad you liked it!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I don’t have a type A personality and am okay with not having everything perfect, but I always feel the pressure to do so. I should have certain people in my life read this:) Great post!
rachelle q recently posted..Shower Debate
I love this post! And I totally agree with all of it – especially about how we’ve created sort of this ‘oppressive state’ for ourselves and it makes me wonder if we don’t fuel our OWN emotional eating or bad body image issues in that place – because we throw our lives out of balance trying to do it ALL, and we lose the playful or restful times that should be a part of our day EVERYday and start looking for it in unhealthy places (like the bakery section of the grocery store). And it actually doesn’t always help to read other blogs – a lot of times I will read a post from a blog I follow and feel inadequate about something in my training or that I don’t create a meal plan or that I had a day of eating animal crackers, Starbucks and protein shakes or WHATEVER…
We’re all different. We all have different needs and abilities and strengths and weaknesses. We all have a different ‘center of balance.’ The more we embrace that and feel gratitude toward what we have, what we can do and who we are, the better we can feel in our own bodies. Well, that’s my opinion anyway.
Rachel B @ Busy Mama Fitness recently posted..Emotional Eating
Love your thoughts! So interesting to think about missing that ‘play’ and then looking for it other places and causing our own emotional eating issues… makes a lot of sense to me!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Is it so hard as a working mom to not feel like a failure when I see moms around me doing everything you listed under the Supermom powers! I know I can’t do it. Some days I consider a success if the toilets are clean. Some days that’s all I can manage. This is a great reminder!
I’m glad it was a good reminder, Sarah! We definitely need to give ourselves a break and be content with getting less done.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Wow! I can’t tell you how many times I have felt exactly the same way. I am also a type “A” first born! But I never really put it together the way you have here by saying that is so oppressive. I love that you are opening all these women’s eyes in this way. Thank you for your frankness and sharing this with everyone!
Erica M. recently posted..The Sparrow and the Spontaneous Workout
I’m glad it was helpful! It was good for me to think about it in terms of something oppressive, too… helps remind me to push back against it rather than chase it.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Such a great post!! I think that as women this is a constant struggle. Some days I am perfectly content with myself and others I feel like I’ve failed (either as a mom, wife, friend, runner…..). I do occasionally feel like the blog world adds to my sense of failure. Reading of all the great races, healthy meals….sometimes I feel myself drawn in and wanting to do the next big thing and I have to tell myself that what I’m doing isn’t about what someone else is doing.
Sorry for the ramble – your post came at a perfect time for me – Thanks!!!
Kim recently posted..Paging, Planking & Punching on President’s Day
Yes, I’ve experienced that to with reading other blogs … it’s silly! You’re right, we only need to be worried about ourselves, and no comparing!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
This is a really great post. I never thought about it this way, but you are completely right. We either feel like we must do ALL and do ALL very well or choose (i.e between career vs. family).
Corey recently posted..Thoughts from Recovery Week
Amen to this! I so often feel like I libe in a pressure cooker. It’s crazy the amount of pressure we plance on ourselves to get it all done.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Butternut Banana Protein Shake
I do think for some participating in the BlogWorld feeds this “oppression.” But I also think there is something about how women are hard-wired. Or maybe it’s how we are viewed by society – or undervalued by society. In general, we have a DRIVEN culture in the US (most of the blogs I read are US – some Canadian, a few Australian, maybe a smattering of other nations). I also think that there has been a lot of dysfunctional parenting leading to people not feeling good enough or worthy and feeling a need to prove that. Anyway, it sucks and it’s stupid. We don’t need to prove anything. We are, each and every single one of us, amazing and worthy of love, attention and respect whether we run fast or slow or not at all. If we can’t muster the energy or focus to fold the laundry has no bearing on our value as a human being. Whether we make the perfect bowl of oatmeal or the loveliest, most healthful granola bars is irrelevant as well.
I look at blogging as a sharing of experiences, as a view into someone else’s world, not so that I can compare myself or hope that someone will compare to me, but to see and help and encourage. Most of us take this shit too seriously. Really, all we want is to feel loved and noticed and accepted. And it begins with doing that for ourselves.
MILF Runner recently posted..Pushing Speedwork
i like your thought process!
lindsay recently posted..Moves, Meals, and Musts Monday
Yes, it definitely comes down to defining our worth. I agree with you- there is nothing we have to prove, we are already worthy of love and respect.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
this is when the risks outweigh the gains, yes? As i sit here feeling overwhelmed, i am also reminded that i am not superwoman and God made to be fruitful with my time/relationships. Thank YOU for this Humbling perspective laura. I LOVE IT!
lindsay recently posted..Moves, Meals, and Musts Monday
I’m part of that club..always thinking I have to be everything to everyone. I like one of your readers comments. Ask yourself if it’s gonna matter in 5 years. Most cases the answer is no.
Good post!
Katie @momslrb recently posted..Pinterest Worthy Project
I agree- that’s such a great way to look at it!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Wonderful post Laura! I actually have a similar post that I’ve been working on discussing some of my faults because I do feel like as a blogger we tend to compete with ourselves and portray this image of perfection at all times. However, my life is in now way perfect at all times and learning to appreciate that and be okay with it, has made me a better person. I tried for awhile to achieve that Superwoman title but I’m glad that I realized it’s pretty much unattainable and that’s okay! We are human and stronger women for realizing we have faults and no one is perfect
Giselle@myhealthyhappyhome recently posted..Marvelous in some ways, not so much in others
Yes, well said! I agree- it’s easy to show our best side, but it does us (and our readers) more good if we can be real.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Yes, yes, yes! This is so well written! I feel this pressure all of the time and do burn out often because I can not physically or mentally keep up with everything that I have to do.
Thanks for your sharing. Move close to me so that we can encourage each other:)
Aw, thanks, Jess! We’re working on that move closer to you part…
Curious to hear more about how things are going since your latest move!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Oh my goodness, yes. I feel like many of us are on the same train of thought right now. I am a mom of 2 with a full-time “corporate” job (although my background is in psychology as well; I started out as a foster care caseworker!), a wonderful husband, and an exercise plan that keeps me sane. But I am also often overwhelmed. Is it more important to ensure that I cook a healthy meal for my family when I get home, or do I heat up organic chicken strips and cuddle with them on the couch? Do I sleep in when I’m physically exhausted, or get up early and work out to avoid mental exhaustion? Am I spending money selfishly by having someone clean my house every 2 weeks? Ugh! I am so over this. Yes, let’s all get over superwoman syndrome together!
Yes, exactly! We all need to call a truce and be done with it.
By the way, if I was working full time, I’d definitely have someone clean my house– release yourself of that guilt!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
This is such a great post post Laura and such an interesting way to think about it. I haven’t thought about it in terms of oppression but it’s true – it is oppressing to feel the pressure of having to be perfect and to be superwoman. I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself but social media and blogging definitely fuels it. But I try to remind myself that everyone always tries to put their best face forward online. I think that’s why I appreciate the posts in which people are honest and show that they are human. Thank you for this!
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Lessons from Ski School – Part 2
Yes, it was new for me to think of it as a form of oppression as well- and it may not be the experience for every woman, but it’s definitely something to be more aware of…. and gives us, as healthy living bloggers, more responsibility.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
This is nicely written Laura. What strikes me is that women fought to have choices and to be given equality in the workforce (which still doesn’t happen entirely from what I’ve seen), but now we have to do it all! Earn money and keep a perfect home. It is much harder now to survive on one income. And, let’s face it, I think it’s still women who do most of the work around the house.
Joann @ Woman in Real Life recently posted..It’s All Good
Ironic, isn’t it? Great point!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Definitely feeling a bit of this lately…”She” had her baby only X months ago, but she’s ALREADY back in shape faster than me…When we have access to everyone’s life through Facebook, blogs, etc. it’s hard not to compare ourselves.
I think it’s really important to show how hard it is to have young kids, because other moms really feel isolated when all they see is the perfect, photoshopped Facebook bragging life from other mothers.
Oh, so true! Life with little kids is tough. From facebook, I would have assumed my baby was an extraordinarily difficult one. Thank goodness for friends who can be real and support each other through this parenting journey!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Go WOMEN! We rock
Great post!
Sarah (Shh…Fit Happens) recently posted..Quality vs. Quantity
YES! So many of us need to keep reminding ourselves that just because we CAN do it all or HAVE it all, doesn’t mean we should. Amen.
Elle recently posted..I am a TRI-er Now!
Excellent post!! As healthy living bloggers, I think it’s important to say exactly what you just did. We are human! And part of that means that while we strive to fuel ourselves and our family well, take care of our bodies and make good decisions, we also need to find a healthy balance. There are many other aspects to life that lead to being healthy: relationships, family, faith and community/work. So, slowing down, taking an easier route, and changing up plans are sometimes the BEST decisions in the grand scheme of things.
Michelle @ Eat Move Balance recently posted..Friday’s Five
Yes, exactly. And it reminded me that I have a responsibility as a blogger to show the very human side as well… to be more aware of not only discussing my “highs” and ignoring life’s challenges.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I do feel the pressure sometimes but I also work to let things go. Which is actual work for me as I’m a very nervous person by nature. as bloggers, I do think we are putting ourselves out there and only increasing the pressure. Are people going to read my fitness blog if I don’t have six pack abs? My food pictures look like they were taken by my cat. Etc. But if you let go and just write what you enjoy and don’t worry about it you wind up with the best posts of all. I suspect a lot of things are like that. If we just focus on doing what we love, loving ourselves, and loving our family the best outcomes will happen.
Carli recently posted..L’Oreal Paris Magic Skin Beautifier B.B. Cream
Exactly! I think one of the big reasons I’m terrified of having kids is because I don’t know how on earth I’m going to have the time to pull the Super Woman off. I think a big part of the problem is that I WANT to be Super Woman even though I know that I will kill myself trying…so I can definitely see it as a form of oppression.
Amy recently posted..The Caddywonked Way With Which We Are Getting To Boston
Yeah see I think fewer girls want to be president because they are smart enough to realize what a horrible job that would be.
jan recently posted..Swimming Picture Fail
Haha, very true…
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
I think as a blogger it is as important to tell when you F-up and when you succeed. Let people see that we are real, we work hard, but we are not superwomen.
Abby @ BackAtSquareZero recently posted..Diet Bet Final Results
Yes, I agree!! Being real and vulnerable is so much more helpful for everyone, ourselves included.
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Oh, have I been there! I repeatedly put too much pressure on myself in so many different ways. it’s a constant lesson I’m having to learn. I suggest the book “Having A Mary Heart in A Martha World”. It’s been a GREAT read for me and touches on a lot of this type of thinking.
Tina @ Best Body Fitness recently posted..The Weekly Reader
Ooh, thanks for the recommendation, Tina. I’m definitely going to check it out!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Best.post.ever! Amazing! I want every woman and man to read and appreciate your words!
Jess recently posted..Detox Decisions
Thanks for your sweet words, Jess!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Sometimes I do thrive on my crazy “I must do everything” behavior – but it almost always comes back to bite me in the ass! It’s easy to get caught up in it all, but in the end family IS the most important thing. Even if I need a reality check every now and then. Will I feel bad about skipping a workout or a post at the end of the week – or will I feel bad about skipping quality time with people that I love? It seems like a tough decisions sometimes – until I spell it out. Being superwoman means you realize you CAN”T be superwoman.
Great post!
Michelle recently posted..Move Monday: Power Training
Yes, so well said, Michelle. Thanks for sharing!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
So well-said, Laura. I try as hard as I can to balance things, but it’s not easy. Nobody is superwoman, and I think comparing yourself to others via blogs and Facebook can make it easy to put even more pressure on yourself, but on the other hand, the support and community blogging can offer can totally offset that.
Michelle recently posted..Halfway
Yes- great point. The blogging community can be so supportive!
Laura recently posted..The Pursuit of Superwoman
Yes!! I do feel like I need to be SUPER mom!! I’ve gotta let go if my perfectionism. I too am a first born girl, grrrrr
. I think blogging does fuel it. I wish I could do those fashion posts, but it’s just not me. Thank you for this post!!
Beautiful post Laura. I totally agree, but what I love about people sharing the best of themselves is that it challenges that part of me that is prone to jealousy. When I start feeling inferior, I try to remind myself that people are only sharing one part of their lives, and that on the inside, we are all struggling to find our way in this journey, and all we can do is be the best version of ourselves.
Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Cinnamon Raisin Sunflower Seed Butter
I definitely try to be superwoman far too often. I am too hard on myself. Thank you for the reminder.
Jamie @ Thrifty Veggie Mama recently posted..Basic Granola
I gave up keeping my house spotless a LONG time ago, but the pressure to have smart, well-rounded kids and the perfect body…it’s all still there. Sigh.
Keep on keeping on, ladies! I think we’re all awesome.
Jamie @ Rise.Run.Mom.Repeat. recently posted..Coconut Oil and Hair Care
The supermom pressure is intense. Today is definitely one of those days where nothing feels like enough, so thanks for posting this.
This is spot on. Sooo easy to want to do everything and feel the need to do everything well. I’m going to find a notebook to put by my bed to try the 3 things in grateful for journal now! Thank you!
Great post and very true. I have taken several steps to concentrate on the little things every day to try to get past the “must be supermom” feelings. Every night we do our “Thankful/Grateful” at the dinner table where everyone says one or two things they are grateful for that day. If we forget, the kids remind us. It’s been so much fun to see what they come up with. It’s the little things in life
Anne recently posted..I Choose Happy
I’m so glad you posted this! I think we are very much alike
I constantly think about this and many of the things you mentioned in this post come up in my thoughts. I think it’s worse now that I’m a mom, but I’ve tried so hard to embrace my strengths and let go of the things I can’t always control (as well as my weaknesses). I think my running routines have changed to reflect this too. And honestly, I’m happier and less stressed out because of it. Thanks again for posting this.
runner26 recently posted..Menu Planning – February 17, (another) Stick Visit! and Ab Month
This is such a great post, Laura! I am a super mom wannabe and I am constantly feeling the effects of “too much”. I need to slow down. I feel like I’m always doing too much on my off days and I just need to be with my girls.
Cecilia @ MommiesRun recently posted..#MotivationalMonday/#MoveItMonday
[...] read a post Monday evening that could not have come at a better time for me – the Pursuit of Superwoman – written by my friend, [...]
Thank you so much for sharing this! I would have never thought of it as the superwoman syndrome. It made me realize I need to slow down and take some time in the day to just relax.
Glad it was helpful, Jessica! We all need permission to slow down, I think.
Laura recently posted..Apple Raisin Oat Muffins
Wow, great post. I really needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing this and I am looking forward to reading your posts!
Alicia recently posted..Shh… Don’t tell!
Amen!
Mandy recently posted..Tuesday Training Update
The reasons you outlined were one of the main reasons I took a big break from blogging. I found myself doing things for the sole purpose of blogging about them and realized how messed up that was. I want my kids to remember me being present with them, not always on the computer or phone. Even beyond my kids, I am happier when I dial back my computer and phone use and focus on the person I’m with at the moment.
There will always be pressures but there is such power in knowing yourself and what you can and can’t handle.
Great post!!
Michelle {lively kitchen} recently posted..Valentine’s Day 2013 – the recap
I admire that blog step back… I was thinking how this is magnified even more for the blogger… not only do you have to do it all, you have to share it all and present it in an appealing way. I have days where I can’t even look at blog stuff, and days where I am loving it. One more thing to figure out how to balance!
Laura recently posted..Apple Raisin Oat Muffins
Comparisons lead to discontent. Boy-ain’t that the truth! Great post!
Thanks, Monica!
Laura recently posted..Apple Raisin Oat Muffins
Living in the land of the type A mom (aka Washington
Oops, fighting with computer LOL
Anyways, living in the DC area, I am surrounded by superwomen. As a non-type A person, it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I’d never fit that role. Now? I’ve come to realize that for me it’s all about balance and making choices that fit my and my family’s goals. I’m so far from superwoman now that I’m in my 40s that I wouldn’t even begin to know how to get back there LOL.
You’re so right that there are places in the country where that pressure is worse… DC is definitely one of them!
Laura recently posted..Cross training with Cathe
I have been told numerous times that because I don’t have children, I have it easy. And perhaps there is some truth to this, but I definitely feel a pressure to be good at my job and my relationships and life stuff. I do, however, refuse to help perpetuate the second shift culture within my own marriage, so now that my spouse is working again we still try to equally divide the household chores.
Raquelita recently posted..Thursday Threads: The Pink Pants Wrinkle Again
LOVE! This is a great post! I definitely thrive off of the type-A, perfectionist lifestyle as well, but I am far from perfect. A lot of things slide, my house cleaning, my looks (I haven’t had a haircut in over a year), and sometimes workouts.
And that’s alright, even superheroes need breaks at times
Jamie @ couchtoironwoman recently posted..The Bullied
Loves reading this post Laura! So important and well written.
Thanks, Meg!
[...] The Pursuit of Superwoman I really loved this post from Laura at Mommy Run Fast. As a Type-A, perfectionist who tries to do everything, I totally relate to the feeling of trying to be Superwoman. And yes, bloggers and social media do fuel this stereotype because we always try to put the best foot forward and everything is always rainbows. However, I never thought of this strive for perfection as a form of oppression before. [...]
Laura, I am a Laura too! I could not have said it better. My husband tells me I bare the worlds problems on my shoulder and there are many days I do feel like that. I just had a mini meltdown the other day because once again I put too much stuff on my plate (name behind my blog, ourfullplate.com).. I am studying for a big test, working longer hours, slacking on my recipes and new blog posts, too tired to play with my boys or go to CrossFit and most of all too tired to hang with my husband and connect.
Thank you for coming out and getting all of us out here and realizing we are not perfect and it is ok!
Hi Laura! I just realized that I never responded to you, but thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment, and I’m glad you can relate!
Laura recently posted..Scope 5k Recap
That quote is SO TRUE! It is good to have goals, but constantly comparing yourself to others (or yourself) can be depressing and can bring about bad feelings! I try to (key word: TRY) revel in the small things, the little improvements or successes, like checking out a new running path, or beating chafe!
Travel Spot recently posted..2nd Saratoga Fat Ass
[...] week and a lot of posts that have stuck out for me. |First one is from Laura at Mommy Run Fast: The Pursuit of Superwoman. This one really stuck out for me because trying to do it all is a trap I often find myself stuck [...]
[...] A few weeks ago I read her musings on the pressure we women put on ourselves/each other to be SUPERWOMEN. [...]
Great blog post! I’m working on a project that deals with this issue as well…do any of you know some solid statistics about the “superwoman.” I know that it causes health problems amongst many other issues, but I need some concrete numbers. Thanks!
Adele recently posted..Welcome!
Hi Adele! Unfortunately, I haven’t found sources with solid numbers… I would love to read the final product when it’s done, if you don’t mind sharing it!
Laura recently posted..Scope 5k Recap
[...] The Pursuit of Superwoman (mommyrunfast.com) Share this:TwitterStumbleUponFacebookTumblrPrintPinterestEmailRedditGoogle +1LinkedInDiggLike this:Like Loading… This entry was posted in Family, Health, Humor, Life and tagged Family, friends, INSPIRATION, mother, personal limitations, POST IDEAS, postaday, self-help, superwoman, WRITING PROMPTS by Teepee12. Bookmark the permalink. [...]
[...] When you are present, you are giving 100% to that one thing. It brings me back to posts that Laura from Mommy Run Fast and Carla from MizFitOnline wrote about the pressures women often face to be superwoman and how [...]