Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative…
I was thinking lately about the roller coaster ride that is life. For those of you who are passionate and very in touch with your emotions (like me), we tend to have higher highs and lower lows than some people.
Things right now are falling in place for me. I was ecstatic to pr in the half marathon, am thrilled to be kicking off my coaching services, got good news about my husband’s job, and realized my posts have been especially upbeat and giddy.
There is nothing more annoying than a giddy, over-positive person when you are not at the same point on your roller coaster of life.
So I wanted to stop to say thank you all for sharing my excitement and being so supportive along the way.
And I want to be real and acknowledge that part of what makes this high so high is that six months ago I was at a pretty low point. We were trying to get pregnant with no luck. I had a shin injury and thought it was likely I would never run a marathon again. Our future in terms of jobs, settling in one place, and my career were up in the air.
I felt out of control. Not a good place for a type A control freak.
However, even at my low points I work hard to remain hopeful and optimistic. To choose contentment. To allow myself to cry and get angry and sulk around, but then acknowledge that things are out of my control and I will be okay.
Here are 5 things that help me look up even in the low moments-
1) Spirituality- I’ve mentioned before that I’m a very spiritual person. My faith is important to me, and provides a lens or road map through which I can make sense of life. It reminds me that I am not the center of the world, but only a small part of something bigger, a movement toward peace, joy, justice, hope and love. Life has pain, it’s part of our journey.
2) Vulnerability- Some people like to be very private with their pain, but my personality finds a sense of relief in sharing what I’m going through with others. Not shouting it to any random stranger, but being open and honest with those closest to me and letting them in.
3) A Voice of Reason- A benefit of opening up to others is that you allow fresh perspectives on your scenario. Most often in my life, this voice comes from my husband. He is able to see more than I can in my moment of frustration and reminds me that we’ve been taken care of in the past and will be taken care of in the future.
4) Relinquishing Control- I like control! As long as I want to be in charge, I am frustrated that I’m not getting the outcome I want. When I release that control and let things be what they are, I can take a deep breath and realize that I’m okay.
5) Action Steps- Although letting go of control is important, it can also be helpful to come up with several simple steps that I can take to change the situation or make the best of it. Sometimes this may help solve the issue, other times it simple provides me with a distraction while the issue sorts itself out.
The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.
I’ve found that these steps help me choose to be positive most of the time, despite my circumstances.
Now I can look back and see where these six months have brought us:
We decided to stop trying to get pregnant in the fall… and I went on to sign up for the Nutrition school and start my health coaching business. I trained for a marathon…. and got my BQ.
And more news… we have answers to the next stage of our life- we accepted a job in NYC and will be moving back to the east coast!
Another roller coaster ride of transitions is ahead, so you can all remind me of this post when I’m stumbling down the other side of this mountain in a few months.
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through… But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about. – Haruki Murakami
Are you a naturally positive person? What things help you to deal with life when it’s not going your way?